DIME - WHORE

And this is no shit!, In 2003/2004 I was doing logistics work for a youth wilderness program operating in the Big Bend Texas National park area.

I came across a job announcement from a company I will call “Dime-whore”. The job was to work as an armed security officer in the small Middle Eastern country of Qatar.

I figured what the heck and filled out the application, attached my resume along with the other requested documents and sent it to the recruiter.

It wasn’t more than 10 minutes before the recruiter called me on my company issued cell phone and began to give me his spiel about the job.

After a few minutes of listening to this recruiter I told him to mail me the recruitment packet and I would get it back to him as soon as I completed all of it. Thus began my 1^st encounter an extremely annoying recruiter .

This guy called me several times a day, every day until I completed all of the papers. I figured then and there that the Job was either a really bad one ,and he didn’t want to loose a sucker Orrrrr….. I was highly qualified and my services were needed – the former proved to be true.

What I did like was the free travel to Qatar and the speed in which this company got me in country.The very next day after completing my papers, I was at the Tucson, Arizona airport for first leg of my journey to Qatar.

The trip took me to Atlanta, Frankfurt Germany, Bahrain, and then Qatar. I was told that a representative of the company would be there to meet upon arrival but, of course that didn’t happen. Taking that information to Heart, I foolishly did not write down any number or names etc. The only name I had was the one of the company I would be working for.

After 17 hours in the back of an airplane and 2 or 3 plastic meals, I wasn’t in the mood for too many problems, and my bullshitameter was pegged. After about an hour of sitting around waiting for a company representative to arrive I happened to hear a guy speaking American English so I asked him if he knew the number to the “Dime-whore” people on the U.S. Army base. As luck would have it he did and gave them a call. I thanked the man for his help and sat down to wait for the rep to show up.

After another hour or so I saw a guy approaching holding a sign upside down that said “Dime-whore”, I had to chuckle at this moron who just happened to look like a cross between Humpty Dumpty and Clem Kadiddlehopper. But, I was relieved to finally see someone so I could at least go to my apartment to get some sleep.  I stuck out my hand and introduced myself and all this A-hole could say was “Grab your shit”, “Let’s go”.

And so began my association with most likely the worst employer I have ever had in my life. This job was filled with the largest bunch of neurotics, misfits and losers (my self included) I had ever seen in one place.

This Job seemed to be a dumping ground for X army Special Forces, Navy SEALS, Air Force PJ’s , Rangers etc. Oh, and SWAT team members. And just about everyone I spoke with had an advanced degree from a university. I was a miracle to have that many highly qualified people in one spot!

In actuality, aside from a few guys with legit qualifications, most of the  people working there were non combat arms types like cooks, secretaries and truck drivers. There was also a smattering of correctional officers and former policemen. I noticed that a lot of the Police officers who worked there had been fired from or asked to resign from their jobs in the states. We even had one guy that got his experience from being a Wal-Mart security guard!

Out of the hundreds of guys that cycled through that job I only met maybe 10 that were what I would call “Normal”. Those guys headed out to better jobs with other military contracting companies is a very short time.

I completed my 1 year contract with this company but it was a difficult because there always seems to be guys and gals around who love to make things more difficult then they need to be.

During my “Training” I was issued 3 sets of uniforms, a Kevlar helmet with no head band or chin strap. A gas mask with no filters, a pistol belt with a broken buckle, a broken right handed pistol holster (I’m left handed), 2 ammo pouches with no buckles and a bullet proof vest with no trauma plates,  And the most uncomfortable pair of boots I have ever worn.

Later on I purchased my own equipment and boots out of pocket.

The training consisted mostly of standing around on the various posts listening to the guys who had been there for a while complain about the job. One thing though, we did get to qualify with the M16A2 rifle and do a familiarization fire on the M2 50 cal machine gun.And prior to deployment, I had to quality with a 9mm pistol on a police standards course.

In due time, I was assigned to the main gate of the base. Personally, I think it was because I could speak complete sentences and didn’t use several colorful metaphors in trying to describe something.

On the gate I met 4 interesting guys with whom I enjoyed working. One of the guys, Jon martin, had traveled all over the world for free doing military contracts. We ended up sharing an apartment together. He was a good roomie and usually had a few lovely ladies hanging around.

Another guy was Lee Head AKA “the pimp of Doha” this rascal had more ladies in the year I was there then Kareem Abdul Jabar claimed to have had in his basketball career. Lee was from Florida if I remember correctly, and was a former county deputy and army vet. Lee had some great stories from his days as a cop in the sunshine state.

Then there was Roger Her from North Carolina, he was a good guy out building a resume to be a military contractor. I admire the fact that he never made any claims about being anything like a SWAT cop, army ranger or navy seal ,commando, CIA. or gung ho guy.

What impressed me is that as shitty as this job was, Roger did it every day in a dedicated professional manner. And later on he went to K9 handler’s school then worked in Iraq as a dog handler for 2 or 3 years.

And finally the Old vet Jimmy Reser. He had vast experience with armies all over the world and was the best K9 handler I have ever met or had the privilege to work with. Jimmy is an expert horse/mule handler, hunter and mountain man. He also liked to smoke Cuban cigars as much as I do.

I loved working with these guys and a few others, but the majority were pretty worthless.

After working on the main gate for a while in the heat, humidity and blazing sun I began to look around for other options.

While on the Bus coming into work I noticed some M2 machine gun positions with the guys manning them sitting around in the shade. I asked about them and was surprised to hear that most people didn’t like to man those positions or work in the guard towers due to boredom. Hell Bells! I’m an introvert and it sounded perfect to me.

What I hated most about working the gates was the forced interaction with folks coming on and off base. But worst of all was interacting with my fellow employees aside from the ones I mentioned.

In a tower or on a gun I could sit there in relative peace and quiet unless some A-hole came by to test my knowledge of the post orders and weapons etc., which was pretty common. I never understood those guys that have to make things more difficult then they need to be.

It was my practice to avoid talking to or hanging out with 90+% of the guys I worked with. The recruiters who hired there characters must have went to every halfway house and bus station in the USA looking for people. Most were severe alcoholics and chain smokers and were usually broke all of the time due to spending all of their per dium and pay on booze, hookers and smokes.

Qatar itself was a tiny shit hole of a country. Like all Middle Eastern countries it is not a pleasant place to live due to the rules and laws of Islam where everything is “Haram”. Now, I’m all for religious freedom and freedom of choice but Islam does not allow for any lateral movement. I love pork products, booze and ladies. If you are Muslim it is Haram – forbidden. And if you are not Muslim it is still Haram.

I can’t live under that yoke. Besides, anyplace where it is forbidden to hold hands with or kiss a lady in public is not my kind of place.

I believe and many of my friends believe that the Middle East was (and still is to me) a real shit hole place to live. Less than 60 years ago those folks were living in tents in the desert now they are enjoying the good life due to oil which foreigners helped them find, when the oil runs out they will be back to living in tents again.

Anyway, back to “Dime-whore”, I worked there for a year mostly on the M2 positions or in the towers. I got lucky and made friends with the project manager who happened to be from Arizona. The PM hooked me up with a sweet gig at the Primary ammo supply point about 40 miles from the base. Aside from the drive to and from work it was a great place to work. It is a case of simple demographics – fewer people, fewer problems.

PSP was peopled by older guys, most were retired army or USMC and were not into the drama associated with the younger crowd. If I had not gone to PSP I would have not returned from my vacation.

In Qatar, I worked 7 months straight before I had a day off, then I went on vacation. In fact my 2 weeks of vacation, and the 10 scheduled days off I had in a year, were my only free time in Qatar.

After returning from my vacation in Nepal, I was sitting on my front porch smoking a Cuban cigar in the apartment complex where a lot of us lived, when I saw this piratical looking character walking around. I was tempted to call security but noticed he looked like an American…..

Turns out he was indeed American – from Minnesota of all places! I struck up a conversation with him because he had an intelligent looking face. His name was Jeff Olson and as I was to learn later, one of the most piratical, scallywag, intelligent rascals I ever ran into.

Jeff had something like 10 years in the USAF security field, worked as an EMT , rode horses, loved guns, travel and survival stuff. My kinda guy!

After a few months of working at the PSP, I was offered a position as the force protection equipment tech, or FPET/ DYN4, this job was to take care of all the electronic equipment used in the security of the base – easy peasy. I worked as the FPET for the remainder of my time in Qatar, I decided not to renew my contract even with this easy job. There were too many Army senior officers that really got on my nerves and also too many “Dime – whore” officers that were equally annoying.

Living and working in Qatar as a military contractor was a good experience for me, I learned that the contractor world is too full of self-important types for me, and I also learned that I do not care to work in that environment . I’ll stick to the outdoors where the people I know are real and not trying to impress me with bullshit.

Col Tomahawk – see you on the trail!